Another Helping

Of my musical taste. This one's been lingering in the back of my mind for a while now...enjoy :)

Happy Birthday To Me!

I'm not at all conceded, however, today is my birthday and I want to buy myself something, but I cannot figure out what...

Anyone have any suggestions?

Call Me An Ass

[sigh]...Yes I'm voting for Obama...

Grumble

I'm uber tired this morning and not feeling that great in general. I NEED to listen to some music to wake me up and....alas my iPod is dead :(.

I want to revert back to my 3 year old self and throw a fit on the floor for the world to see, preferably in the middle of a crowded department store. That would feel so good right now...Maybe I'll go outside and kick some rocks instead.

#2

This is one of my all time favorite songs - I wish I could find a link to the video, but alas...Here's the lyrics anyway.

Shades Apart - One Starry Night

Eric's room gets too small one night
(he) takes his whole apartment outside
down at his desk he sits and writes
under a streetlight

one starry night just like tonight when these
city lights seem like candlelight
one starry night somewhere between midnight
and sunrise everything will be alright

On the steps someone plays guitar
carrying into the dark
far off a saxophone begins following along
writing the same song

one starry night just like tonight when these
city lights seem like candlelight
one starry night somewhere between midnight
and sunrise everything will be alright

Angela hears the music play
sees eric and suddenly the lights change
dare she let her heart take this one chance?
she says do you want to dance?

Obsession

I can NOT get enough of this song lately....

TGI...aww screw it

Friday isn't much to be thankful for this week. I've got a little mini-rage going on inside my head right now that is slowly creeping toward my fingers. I'm frustrated beyond belief that there isn't more I can do for certain people. It's one of those days where you're wishing things away. I know it'll pass and everything happening is for it's own just reason, HOWEVER, I don't have to like the "going through" it phase and I don't...not one bit.

I want to scream, really, really loudly right now. I wonder why things that happen to other people affect me so deeply sometimes, to the point that I want to fight for them. Do a tag-team and just take the shit for a while so they can sit in the corner and re-group. I guess when you love someone it feels that way.

I hate that for now, my only recourse is to be a listener, an advice giver and a support. I'll just sit in my corner and silently scream...

Blown

I blew it yesterday and broke my "I'm going to write EVERY DAY" resolution...I suck, I know, but I was doing much more important things, lol, yeah right, who am I kidding?

I did however catch Wil Wheaton's Criminal Minds episode last night. CREEPY...So realistically creepy in fact, that my geek crush got taken down a few notches. I am much more content thinking of him as a big geeky teddy bear, than a serial killing rapist...icky, icky, icky...

And I had a lovely conversation with SG. I miss her and my other friends. I find that I'm at home in front of my computer trying to connect too often these days. I'm craving some social time.

Soundtrack

A friend has evoked music in me again, I'm using this as a place to list the more obscure stuff that I've let get lost in my over-stuffed iTunes Library.

• Shades Apart (#1 song - One Starry Night - LOVE IT!!, best album - Eyewitness)
• Greenwheel - the first band I ever heard live before the radio!
• Jackopierce (why did I ever lose you??)
• Jann Arden - Insensitive says it all
• Beth Hart
• Amanda Marshall
• Hello Saferide - New, but I'm obsessed :)
• Alice Russell - Hurry on Now - GREAT SONG
• Astaire - L-L-Love (good one hit)
• ATB - You're Not Alone (some people leave a good mark on you)
• Azure Ray 
• Bonnie McKee - Trouble
• Ellie Lawson - Gotta Get Up From Here - BEST SONG!
• Get Up Kids
• Helen Stellar - This Time Around - Greatest find from a movie yet
• Ingrid Michaelson - The Way I Am
• Jonathan Coulton - Another live before radio find
• Marc Broussard - Come Around
• Plumb
• Eisley

Sorry if you've read this and expected something else. This is more of "for me" post than anything else. 

I'm out - 

Ahhh...

Okay ladies, you can all be totally jealous, but my husband kicks some major ass. I had a Chiropractor appointment tonight, which happens every other Tuesday and Brian goes with. Tonight we met, sat down and had our adjustments. After mine, Dr. G. said he wanted them to do some "soft tissue" work on my back, made sense to me b/c it had been really sore the past couple days. I walk back and one of the therapists takes my chart and walks me into a private room (odd b/c normally you just lay in a room with about 3 beds and they work on your sore spots there. She asks how I'm feeling, I say "fine". She said, "it's been a while since you've had therapy" I agree. She then says "Well you have a half-hour massage tonight" and smiles, then continues with "your husband bought it for you." I was totally shocked caught off guard, super excited, but at the same time the first thought I had was "oh shit, I haven't shaved in a week!"....

Needless to say it was one of the best things on this planet that I have experienced. To top that off I get 4 more! My next one is scheduled (with impeccable timing) for next Wednesday....I'll be sure to shave this time :)

My new thing (for today)...

I've always heard about people doing it, but I've never done it myself...until today. I went out at lunch, bought a new shirt and walked out of the store wearing it. It felt, oddly enough, totally awesome (maybe that's just the girl in me) :). It was extremely entertaing to walk up to the cashier and hand her only a tag, the look was priceless.

Oh and apparently Carl and SG are hitting it off - kudos to both ;)

Another P.S.

I hate when people talk about you from 10 feet away, like you can't tell or can't hear what they're saying...

I KNOW I'M FUCKING CRABBY OKAY?!?!

Today

I woke up feeling exhausted, I slept like crap last night. In fact, I was so wiped I didn't hear the alarm go off...that NEVER happens. I'm moody today, I have no patience, need more coffee and am so hungry I think I could eat Denny's out of their Grand Slam breakfasts...What is wrong with me...

On a side note, I had an excellent day yesterday. Spending the day with the Hubby and friends at Dave & Buster's was fun. Heather and I rocked the coin machines like nobody's business. Heaven help Vegas if we ever get there!

And now it's back to work, which sounds so much less appealing when all I want to do is curl up in a ball w/a caffeine drip and check out for a while. Eloquence has left me...

P.S.

Several things have happened in my recent life and I've been feeling very public as of late. You might just need to get used to the new me, or you can tell me to go to hell, either way it's cool...

That's What (True) Friends Are For...

I wander in the infinite internet, a lot. Poking in places, peaking behind curtains, uncovering rocks, generally sticking my nose anywhere and everywhere I can...I'm nosy like that. It has happened a couple times in my nosiness that I find things I wish I'd never seen. Witnessed some heinous violation of "proper conduct" in video, stared at a naked picture, or read something a (once) friend has written, that leaves me wondering why I'm still looking at it, or why I felt it necessary to check at all. Tiny moments that make me pause and say "is it really worth it?" 

As you have mentioned there are moments in life where you walk away and think "oh I should have...". I've had several in my life, one of them was you. Somewhere the road fell from under my feet and I lost the ability to convey true feelings to you, that made me a shitty friend. I accept my failure. You, on the other hand, post hypocritical messages and continue to live your life through hypocritical actions. Good luck with that, one of us has learned from mistakes, we'll see if the other ever catches on..

I've got a fever...

And the only thing that's going to help it....spending the day with a screaming child.

[sigh]

Rainy Day

I'm sitting at work, drinking my afternoon latte and feeling like I haven't been productive at all today. Really I feel like I haven't been productive at all the last 3 weeks. I don't know what my deal is, but I need to get over it and fast. I have a million things to do, maybe I just don't know where to start. Time to make a list I guess, maybe my friend can help me find a way to put my shit together...maybe.

The Ties That Bind

My grandmother passed away last week. I flew to Florida to attend her wake and funeral. I was accompanied by my mom, who hasn't flown in 10 years and was scared beyond belief. We made it though, without incident I might add.

It was a tough weekend. I was happy to see my grandpa (Papa) and my Aunt who I haven't seen in five years, and spend some time with my (step) sister. It sucked that it came this way, but life has it's subtle reminders for you. Take time, or live with the regret. I get to spend the rest of my life wondering what kind of relationship I could have had with my grandmother (Gramme) had I picked up the phone and called or written a letter. All I have are the memories of an 8 year old girl, blurry though they are, they're special to me.

The grandmother I remember was not the frail body I saw this weekend. I don't know what they did to her, but she was not there. I've never done well at funerals. I don't handle bodies very well typically. This time, however, I was ok. I cried and hugged family, but I also said goodbye, something I can't normally handle. I'm so grateful I could do it this time, I think I really needed it.

After the wake and funeral, we shared stories and memories of days that have long passed, it was nice to wake up in a house that I had only a childs memory of, and it was still the same. The furniture, unmoved, pictures still hung in the same place, the toast and tea for breakfast, everything just like it "used to be". Though, I am older now, I reverted back to feeling like I was that little girl again.

It was the hardest trip home I've had to make, I cried more in the last 4 days than I have in months. Real, genuine tears. I have promised myself I will not let years pass by again before my next visit and I will pick up the phone and call my grandpa more often. He's such a sweet man, I miss him already...

On my way to Orlando Airport yesterday, my husband called with some grim news of our dog. Apparently he couldn't move the back half of his body anymore and was dragging himself around. The prognosis was a herniated disc (most likely). He's on steroid therapy for a few weeks and they are hoping it will heal itself and he'll be fine. If it doesn't work, it means surgery and no guarantee that it will help at all. The thought of having to put that poor puppy (he's only 7) to sleep breaks my heart, but it hurts more to see the sadness that has consumed my husband. Rocky is literally one of his best friends.

Let's hope this is the end of my thunderstorm and I get to see the sunlight soon.